2020 - LA's 13th Annual
1Minute Monologue Micro-Film Festival
The Absolute Fastest Showcase In Existence!
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SOLD OUT & THE RESULTS ARE IN!
Brought to you by:​
2020 Submissions
This is our growing gallery of original monologue submissions for 2020. If you would like to learn more about our writer's contest and submit your original 1Minute Monologue. Click HERE
Title: OH CRAP! WHERE’S MOM?
Writer: Teresa Moore
Genre: SerioComedy
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Character Type/Age Range: Female 20-50+
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Monologue:
I was 10 years old when my mom starting forgetting who I was. She would drive around the block about 5 times and finally say, “Hey girls, do you remember where the house is? I can’t seem to find it today.” The neighbors would call once in a while and say, “Umm, your mom is in our living room again. Could you please come and get her?”
Thankfully, she didn’t become mean with her early onset. She was like a big kid we had to babysit. It was just me and my sister. I mean, who wants to come over to the house with the crazy mom?
She had this thing she would do when she was excited where she would bring her fists in under chin, shake them frantically, and make a high pitched squeal, like this (squeals long E syllable). It’s the kind of squeal you just don’t ever forget. And then she would take off running. One time she was holding the end of the toilet paper when she got excited …oh yes, toilet paper trail all over the house.
But we made the best of it, you know, well, that is until we forgot we were the adults. We look up from a riveting game of sorry, the outside door is wide open, in the distance we hear the faint squeal, and… (look at sister) ”Oh crap! Where’s mom?”
Title: A Nightmare
Writer: Anibal Mejia
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Genre: Drama
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Character Type/Age Range: Male/Female 20-50+
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Monologue:
I was 10 years old when my mom starting forgetting who I was. She would drive around the block about 5 times and finally say, “Hey girls, do you remember where the house is? I can’t seem to find it today.” The neighbors would call once in a while and say, “Umm, your mom is in our living room again. Could you please come and get her?”
Thankfully, she didn’t become mean with her early onset. She was like a big kid we had to babysit. It was just me and my sister. I mean, who wants to come over to the house with the crazy mom?
She had this thing she would do when she was excited where she would bring her fists in under chin, shake them frantically, and make a high pitched squeal, like this (squeals long E syllable). It’s the kind of squeal you just don’t ever forget. And then she would take off running. One time she was holding the end of the toilet paper when she got excited …oh yes, toilet paper trail all over the house.
But we made the best of it, you know, well, that is until we forgot we were the adults. We look up from a riveting game of sorry, the outside door is wide open, in the distance we hear the faint squeal, and… (look at sister) ”Oh crap! Where’s mom?”
Title: She Deserved Better
Writer: Anibal Mejia
Genre: Drama
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Character Type/Age Range: Male 20s
Monologue:
Shoot me. Go ahead I know it won’t matter, why would it now? It’s been more than six months since we slept on a bed, we haven’t seen the sun, we don’t know what to tell the little kids anymore... My little sister died today, I had to burry her myself, with my own hands... I told you she was sick. Everyday I had to tell her that her bones hurt because she was growing too fast. Today I had to convince her to go to sleep when she was dying so that she could let herself go! So kill me, but this kids deserve better... She deserved better.
Title: Stopping Power
Writer: George Triplett
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Genre: Comedy
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Character Type/Age Range: Male 30s-50s
Monologue:
Our brake pads are good. You aint even gonna believe it. (spit) Let’s see what happens when you’re driving with our competitors brake pads. You’re driving along la-de-da and all of a sudden your kids are yellin from the back seat, “daddy, I gotta go potty” you’re yellin “not now damn it!” There’s a truck tire in the middle of the road. You’re yelling I can’t stop. Help, there’s a cliff and you’re kids are screamin “Daddy I’m burnin and can’t feel my legs!” You look over and your wife is on fire. She’s already dead. You look in the rear view mirror and see the trunk lid pop open and your kids heads are bouncing around. One of them’s eyeball pops out and you try to catch it, but you can’t because it’s too slippery. You finally hit the bottom of the cliff you look down and there’s a mountain lion gnawing on your leg. The patty wagon shows up and the new guy is puking all over your dead wife and putting out some of the fire. He had beans and weennies for lunch. That rabbit you hit on the way down caught fire and set off the sagebrush. He’s puking up the grass he had for lunch. That’s all he eats. He’ll neer be able to eat that again. Now the forest service has to send out a tanker truck to put out the fire you started all because you want to save a few pennies on a set of brake pads. (spit)Any questions?
Title: The Painter
Writer: George Triplett
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Genre: Drama
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Character Type/Age Range: Male 30s-50s
Monologue:
This job has really been getting to me lately. Killing. Torturing. I decided I needed a hobby. Figured my wife would like that. She likes this guy Picasso. I looked at some of his paintings. I think I could do that. I went to this store on Long Island, Michael's. You heard of it? I bought some canvas and some paint, some brushes. Bought fifty dollars' worth of books about one of the great artists of our time. His name is Bob something. He paints happy trees and shit. I actually felt like I had a calling. So I set up my canvas and squeezed out red and yellow paint onto my palette. I dipped one of my brushes into the yellow paint. I look up at my big, blank white canvas and I asked myself, “What the hell am I doing? I don’t know how to paint” and it suddenly felt like I was being watched. And, sure enough, there she was, my wife standing at the door staring at me. She had this look of disgust on her face. So, to kind of, you know, not disappoint her, I decided to prove to her that I could paint. Have you ever heard of Jackson Pollock?
Title: Music Hall of Broken Dreams
Writer: Regina Valitova
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Genre: Comedy
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Character Type/Age Range: Female 20s
Monologue:
So the day after I turned 18, I kissed The Gram goodbye, headed in my Uber XL and went to New York. Because I wanted to be a Rockette, since this girl in my hometown, Luella Heiner, had actually gotten out and made it in New York. And that was my plan. Except I had one minor problem. See, I was ugly as sin. I was ugly, skinny, homely, unattractive and flat as the Earth. Get the picture? Anyways, so I get off this Uber in my little white tights, little white shoes, little white dress and my little ugly face. I had my dad's black card in my pocket and seven years worth of tap and acrobatics. With that kind of talent I figured Maddie Ziegler would be waiting for me at port authority. Wrong! I had to wait six months for an audition! Well, finally, the big day came and I showed up at Music Hall in my red patent leather tap shoes. And I did my little tap routine. And this old man said to me, he was like 25. He said, "Can you do Fan Kicks?". I said, "Sir, I can do TERRIFIC Fan Kicks". But it wasn't the Fan Kicks. Apparently it was the way that I looked. So I said, "Fuck you, Radio City and frick you, Rockettes. I'm gonna make it on TikTok."
Title: The Hand Made Blade & The Child's Balloon
Writer: Fisal Ansari
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Genre: Drama
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Character Type/Age Range: Male
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Monologue:
Well Well! If it isn’t the ultimate harlequine? Daddy resting in his grave.
What’s it been 15 years now since you made your exit out of this world?
What a Lucky Guy. I wish I could say something nice, but that’s not why I came here today.
So, I guess you’re wondering what I want this time?
(Pause).
I want you to tell me why you made me believe that I was nothing?
You see, my wife, she left me today,
Because I couldn’t function right -- up here. (points to mind).
What you did screwed me up!
Most of all -- my heart.
But you want to know something daddy?
It wasn’t the burning blade that hurt me the most – It was that look you gave me afterwards.
Like I was nothing.
Nothing!
Fade Out!
Title: Hans Shteele
Writer: Collin Sutton
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Genre: Comedy
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Character Type/Age Range: Male
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Monologue:
Hello welcome to the show. This is Hans Shteele, German bodybuilding champion and international fitness model. These muscles don’t happen by the accident. Here we are at my home gym where today I will perform for you a feat of the strongman. I have this double walled stainless steel water container which is very strong, some of the strongest substance known to man. Also keeps the water very chilled. Today I will crush this with my own hands. Before one does the feat of strength one must do the pump. You must do both sides as to not be lopsided. This is something the amateurs do. Ok here I will crush this with just my muscles. Here we go, one two three. Remember this is very hard substance. One two three. One two three. Turn the camera off. Who purchased this? This is triple walled. Shite this is so embarrassing.
Title: Pills That Kill
Writer: Howard Young
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Genre: Drama
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Character Type/Age Range: Male
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Monologue:
The last time I was here at this karaoke bar...everyone had their eyes glued on this tall, mysterious vixen, as she swayed her hips to the beat of the music and “purred” like a kitten when she sang. I don't know what got into me but I just ran up onto that stage and sang and danced with her like my life depended on it. If I could freeze time, it would be that moment.
That magical moment turned into a nightmare. They say love is blind. Sweet as honey one moment, then bouts of rage the next! All my friends said I was crazy to stay with her...but I wanted to save her. Her doctors gave her a bunch of pills. Bipolar Disorder?! No way! She was...passionate about life. That's not a mental illness!
I did everything I could to save her but she slowly drifted out of my life...and years and years go by and it all started to seem like it was just a dream...until I get jolted awake in the middle of the night by her ER doctors, saying she was dying of a prescription drug overdose. I could barely hear her whimper in the background “Andy, Andy, save me.” Her last words before she died. Was it my fault? Could I have done more? Wait...her doctors prescribed those “crazy” pills. They killed her!
Title: Sorry For The Salad
Writer: Laura Grimaldi
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Genre: Drama
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Character Type/Age Range: Female
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Monologue:
Ya know? This is bullshit! NO! I’ve sat through 30 minutes of my two daughters trash talk me because I, what, freaked out at Christmas dinner? I’m sorry for throwing the salad, but I guarantee had you had to sit through a..the mom roast that I did, even a therapist would have list her shit. I’m hurting them? Really. You know…the amount of time that you spend thinking about the kind of mother that you want to be compared to the amount of time you’re actually essential to these kids is like a fraction. I mean It’s like when you girls were little and you would crawl into bed with me after a nightmare, that..that is when I really felt … necessary. And then you turn 10 and it just stopped and I was crushed but it was ok. I thought ok this is phase 2. And you keep investing and doing what you do because they don’t tell you in Mom school. Nobody tells you that you are going to give, willingly give huge pieces of yourself to your children. And those pieces are going to live inside of them, but you’re never get them back. Because before I knew it, Leigh was getting married and Jewels was moving out and within weeks I went from a full house of necessary to nothing. Outdated wallpaper and a salad that no one wants to eat.
Title: Unfinished
Writer: Lauren Schoepfer
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Genre: Drama
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Character Type/Age Range: Female
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Monologue:
I’m pregnant. And I haven’t told Ryan yet. Not because he wouldn’t be happy, he’d be... ecstatic. In his mind he’s ready. But for me, mom…
(Beat, right angle)
Do you ever think about, like...shaving your head, just to see the shape of your scalp? See, I do. And then that idea rattles around in there with others like; write a poem, or learn to ride a horse or go to Africa. But I never do. And I push it aside to go about my workday helping a more exciting person, finish exciting things that excite them.
And WHAM! It’s right then, in the middle of serving someone else, that these thoughts start playing bumper cars in my brain. When it finally calms down all that’s left is this frustrating feeling that I am... unfinished. I am always unfinished.
And all I can think about is the fact that if I actually finish this pregnancy then the next twenty years of my life, or more, is going to be spent helping my kids accomplish thing after thing, for them until... When do I get to cross the finish line?
Title: Can't Commit
Writer: Manny McCord
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Genre: Drama
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Character Type/Age Range: Male
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Monologue:
I don't know where it was, but it wasn't here. And we were all in it - it felt like - but we all had different faces. After you guys left, I only dozed for a few minutes so it couldn't have been long. Roger laughed a lot and Billy was taller. I don't remember all the details exactly, and even though we were the ones in it, I know it was about my father. He was a big man. I was six. He was a very big man when I was six and he went away, but I remember him. He started drinking and staying home making model airplanes and boats and painting by the numbers. We had money from mom's family so he was just home all the time. And then one day I was coming home from kindergarten and as I was starting up the front walk, he came out the door and he had these suitcases in his hands. He was leaving, see, sneaking out and I'd caught him. We looked at each other and I just knew and I started crying. He yelled at me: 'Don't you cry; don't you start crying." I tried to grab him and he pushed me down in the grass. And then he was G.O.N.E.
Title: The Devil In The Detail
Writer: Richard Kovacs
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Genre: Drama
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Character Type/Age Range: Male
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Monologue:
Yes, the contract is one hundred percent in your favour! You
carefully had those caveats sewn up in “legalese” to make sure of
that. Legal theft. Don't smile! You hold all fifty two cards in
the deck. And here you are, the two jokers. I have no cards to
play. None. So what do I have? I know where you live and I now
know more about you than I ever wanted to. You have the law on
your side. I have the divine right to justice on mine. And justice
will be served. If that sounds like a thinly veiled threat – it's
not. It's a personal guarantee. You're familiar with that concept
aren't you? Sitting out there waiiting for the vaguest hope is my
heavily pregnant wife and my six year old daughter, who I would
kill for. That's my motivation gentlefolk, please what's yours?
Title: The One
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Writer: Rodrigo Ambriz
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Genre: Comedy
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Character Type/Age Range: Male
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Monologue:
Dude dude.. I'v been seeing a number of nice ladies.Here let me show you a picture, Shit not that one.This is Tatiana Tatiana
jimmy: whats her last name?
It's Tatiana calls me at 3 0'clock in the morning and wants to fucccc cuchi cuchi who cares what her last name is.
last weekend Tatiana comes over in a mini falda and you know what she tells me? Ay chaparrrrrrrriiiiito chile picositto pushes me so hard i went over board over the bed.This chick is insatiable she wants it in every position under the sun. we did la batidora mami mami, the wheel barrel, the kookui, and let me tell you no man is that hungry. It got so wild that my nose started bleeding. And once it was done and the dust settled, she looked at me dead in the eye and said next week I'm gonna bring Maria mi Tia y Panchita
Title: Honor Thy Husband
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Writer: Ross Forte
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Genre: Drama
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Character Type/Age Range: Male
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Monologue:
Mom you don’t have to keep living like this. This is not okay. It only feels that way because you’ve been living in it for 29 years. But that doesn’t make it right. You can leave dad. Oh my God. You didn’t even realize that was an option.
How do you know what God wants? Do you think this is what he wants? For you to be miserable every single day of your life, treated like a dog, honoring thy husband? No. This is insanity. And I believe he has a lot more in store for you.
Look, I’m not saying this is going to be easy. But we can get through this. I’m here for you.
No! Don’t make excuses for him. Mom, if you don’t leave him, you’re stupid.
I’m sorry. I just, love you, so much. You’re the most beautiful, amazing human being in the world. But you’ve got to see it. You still have so much life to live.
Title: In Conclusion
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Writer: Lorie Rivas
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Genre: Drama
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Character Type/Age Range: Female
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Monologue:
No, let me tell you something. I work damn freaking hard. I’m smart, valuable, creative and some people even think I’m funny. I don’t need you or your stupid money.
Who do you think you are to treat a person like this? To treat me like this?! After everything I did for you.
I was always here. On time. Cleaning up your mess. Attending meetings you were too fucked up to show up for -- and I even spoke nicely of you knowing damn well you ain’t shit. All for what? A check? I gave you so much of me and this -- this is the respect I get. The “thank you for all your hard work.”
You used me and the minute shit went south you turned on me. You don’t deserve me. None of you do.
Now go on, tell ‘em how your office “manager” just quit.
Title: Happy Place
Writer: Hannah McSwain
Genre: Drama
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Character Type/Age Range: Female 17 (young-looking actor 15-21)
Monologue:
(Marcella -- Marcie for short -- Sighs and sits down in a chair)
Look, I really don’t want to be here. C’mon, I haven’t been to small group in weeks. I just want to go back out there and see my friends. And you pulled me away right as they started playing “Our God”. You know that one is my favorite. I swear I haven’t just been ditching. There’s just this youth group at a different church where a lot of people from my school go, so I’ve been there instead… You have to go out there for your junior high boys when we go into groups right? Like, you’re not going to keep me past worship, are you?
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(Getting more annoyed)
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Stop looking at me like that! I’m fine. If I needed to be sat down and interrogated about my life, I’d still be in counseling. Like, yeah, it was great and it helped me, but I’m doing better now, so can we just drop it? My mom accepted that answer today when I told her I wanted to stop going. Yeah, stuff has happened since I started to turn it around, but that’s not my fault. Stuff is always going to happen.
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(Laughing)
Life’s a… ya know... Then you die, right? What matters is that I’m being good. I’m not getting into trouble; I’m doing my homework. So why am I still being punished? Relationships just suck, but I don’t have to make that my problem right now. Not anymore. Now I just want to move on. I don’t know if you thought you were going to call me in here to be the shoulder to cry on because three days couldn’t possibly be enough time, but it was. And I know most people probably don’t think so, but I’m better off without him. I wouldn’t have believed it either, but I am.
(Thoughtful pause, then pulls one or both knees up into self on chair)
Seriously, I really thought I was finally being the “good girl” with him. He was like this perfect little angel. My mom liked him. Everyone here liked him, you liked him. I thought I was so happy… But all I was doing was getting myself hurt. And, I guess a part of me just kept waiting, begging for someone to figure out that I wasn’t okay. But every time anyone started to, I felt like I had to defend him, like that’s what I was supposed to do. What else could I do? Everyone liked the way I was with him
Title: Alone
Writer: Mitch Morrison
Genre: Drama
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Character Type/Age Range: Male 20-50+
Monologue:
Five years ago, I was in a horrific car crash. And the only woman I ever loved, my fiancé, died in my arms waiting for the ambulance. And I’ve been alone ever since. But I have carried that sack far enough and I would like to put it down and get on with the rest of my life. So, Eryn, my love, if I could trade places with you I would. But I can’t. If I could kill that drunk driver who took you away from me I would. But he died too. You’ll always be a part of me. Both here and here.
Title: Interrupted Audition
Writer: Jordan Gallimore
Genre: Comedy
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Character Type/Age Range: Male 20s
Monologue:
Auditioner: How you guys doin?
Casting Director: What’s up?
Auditioner: ‘One day, I was walking down the street-‘
CD: Oh wait, I didn’t know you were already starting. Let me turn on the camera, hold on one second.
Auditioner: Oh you wasn’t recording just now.
CD: No I wasn’t.
Auditioner: Oh okay, just let me know when you’re ready.
CD: All right, you’re good.
Auditioner: ‘One day, I was walking down the street, and-‘
CD: Oh wait, my camera just turned off, bro.
Auditioner: Oh it just turned off?
CD: It literally just turned off.
Auditioner: Okay, just let me know when you’re ready.
CD: I’m done, I’m ready.
Auditioner: ‘One day, I was walking down the street, and-“
(Phone ringing)
CD: Wait, wait I gotta take this. My bad. (on the phone) Hello? What? What you mean you’re pregnant? I’m on set right now, I can’t talk to you. I can’t talk to you. I’m gonna talk to you later all right? (hangs up phone) Ah, my bad bro.
Auditioner: I just don’t wanna be wasting anyone’s time, I’m just here to do an audition, and I gotta go…
CD: All right, my bad, my bad.
Auditioner: ‘One day, I was walking down the street, and all of a sudden-‘
PA: I just came from Starbucks, anybody want some coffee?
Auditioner: Nobody asked you for coffee, who is this guy? You havin’ camera difficulties, no one asked you for coffee sir… Nobody asked you for coffee! You want me to calm down? You want me to- I’m out.
Title: Madonn
Writer: Julie Dawson
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Genre: Drama
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Character Type/Age Range: Female 20s-30s
Monologue:
Gawd I feel like I’m going crazy... You know I started smokin’ cigarettes becuz uh him…yeah….gawddamn Tommy Veollie. Bastid.
I was at the church and they were gettin’ ready to pass out communion and I recognized that little hair pattern on the back of his - - hold on a sec- -
KIDS! TURN DOWN THE GODDAMN TV! ANGELO, NIKKI, I SWEAH IF I COME IN THERE YOU’RE GONNA GET THE SPOON!
Donna, I’m losing it! I can never have a moment to myself!
And then outside uh the church I see him talkin’ to this little putan' wearin’ this gawdawful navy blue linen dress with absolutely no back, I mean you could almost see her ass!
When I die, it’s gonna be becuz uh that strong stronzo gives me agita! Ugh Gawd! Look at my language.
ANGELO LEAVE YA SISTAH ALONE!
Anyway… Ya shoulda seen him durin’ the service,...the way the light was hittin’ his face…Madonn…I sweah he looked like Sinatra’s son.
KIDS THAT’S IT! YOU’RE GOIN’ TO NANA’S. AND NOT THE NICE ONE!! Donna I’ll cawl you back…HEY! YOU LITTLE SHITS!
Title: Judyth Brooke Curtis--1 Minute Monologue Contest Entry 2020
Writer: Judyth Brooke Curtis
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Genre: Drama
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Character Type/Age Range: Female
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Monologue:
I grew up in a place like this -- my face covered in dirt and my father hitting me every chance he had. You don’t see that part of me. And why would you? For years I’ve hidden it away from my subjects. But I knew. When I chose not to create a draft, or when I decided to keep taxes as they were... I was thinking of places like this. People like that poor girl outside. People like me. That girl -- she has... had... the same color eyes as I do. Did you notice? Did you even look? Take him away.
Title: There's Still Hope...
Writer: Amanda Sackett
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Genre: Comedy
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Character Type/Age Range: Female 30-40s
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Monologue:
It’s so great to meet you. I’m glad you actually showed up!. I went on a date last night by myself. Yeah, the guy was a no show. Can you believe it? Thanks a lot ‘tinder’. Anyway, his loss. Big loss. I probably wasn’t going to marry him anyway. He had a nose that went on for days.
Anyway so I’m 39 but everyone says I look 25 so...yay! And I’m Botox free!
I don’t let any chemicals touch this masterpiece. I’m also paleo. And occasionally vegan but my holistic dr says meat matters as long as it’s organic! So, thank you Wholefoods! Aka ‘whole pay check’ but ya know food is medicine and if you take care of your body now then you won’t have old age dr bills. I’m certain to be disease free all my life- thank you anti inflammatory diet and bovine collagen proteins.
Do you like to exercise? Because my holistic dr says that if I want to have a pain free pregnancy I need to have a solid exercise routine . And since I’m still within the childbearing age I think it’s very important for couples to exercise together.
So, enough about me. What was your name again?
Title: What I Could Have Learned
Writer: Anthony Riggins
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Genre: Drama
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Character Type/Age Range: Male 30s
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Monologue:
Wait! You’re asking me why I’m behaving this way. I needed you, but you didn’t care enough about me. I poured my heart out to you. I confided in you and instead of comforting me you threw it in my face to tear me down.
My whole life I tried to be the person I thought you wanted me to be and it still wasn’t good enough for you.
Up until I met my wife you were supposed to be the most important woman in my life, but you were afraid of that responsibility.
There were so many things I missed out on because of you. I didn’t know how to love. I didn’t know how to be sensitive. I didn’t know how to touch. These are all things I should have learned from you. I had to figure it out on my own because of your lack.
Now I have to live with the regret of you not being there to teach me those things…but you know what mom, one thing I can say I did learn, is what not to do.
Title: Social Media BS!
Writer: Eli Santana
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Genre: Drama
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Character Type/Age Range: Male
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Monologue:
Hey, nice shirt, “Life of Agony” great band. Ok, I know why I’m here. We aren’t posting enough but ya know, I was under the impression that you signed us because we write great songs and put on a killer show. Ok, it’s just like, imagine spending your whole life training to be a gold medal gymnast and you get to the Olympics and someone says, “Hey man, you really gotta get your Pokemon Go numbers up.”
Ok, look, I didn’t forfeit my high school social life to practice guitar, spend the last decade mooching off loved ones and sleeping in a van on tour in both sub zero and sweltering weather to be a social media influencer. That’s not why I do this. But that kid at the show in the back alley waiting to tell me that something I wrote saved his life the same way the band on your f*cking shirt saved my life when I was his age? That’s why I do this.
I guess I should’ve posted that. How’s the hashtag, Not my f*cking job?
Title: The Interrogation
Writer: Kyle Padeni
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Genre: Drama
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Character Type/Age Range: Male
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Monologue:
Hey, how ya doin Phoenix?...I gotta tell you something. I really don’t think that you’re all that you’re cracked up to be. They tell me you’re the real outgoing type, real loquacious, real high-riding, ya know, rough around the edges. Right? But when I went up to go talk to you two weeks ago, you wouldn’t even give the time a day at the pier...Now why is that? I mean, I *stutters*, trust me, I know I’m not the most conventional boy next door type, but when I went up to go talk to ya, you really shut me down back there. It kinda had me feeling bad about myself cuz I don’t think I’m the worst type a guy, there’s not many things bad about me. So I was real worried about myself, it hurt man.*sighs* Anyway, I just want you to know that it didn’t have to go like this. We didn’t have to have ya tied up like a prisoner or something, interrogating ya. I mean, we coulda took care of this two weeks ago. I feel sorry for you, but it’s kinda your own fault. And this is just the way it’s gonna have to go so....Tell me all you fuckin know! Or I’m gonna have to kill ya.
Title: Cold Feet
Writer: Lauren Schoepfer
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Genre: Comedy
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Character Type/Age Range: Female
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Monologue:
Dad… I need to talk to you. I can’t walk down this aisle right now. I had this crazy dream last night. I know… but I’m on the Laker bench watching Kobe Bryant play -- He NOT retired in my dreams-- But he did injures himself... again.
Next thing I know he’s sitting beside me and I’m holding Kobe’s little face in my hands and saying ‘I’m so sorry this happened to you.’
(Beat - She lost in the moment with the memory of holding Kobe’s face)
Then he turns to the Coach and says, “Put her in.” I know, right!?
So I say ‘yes, of course, that’s the solution? I’ll sub into the game.’ When I step up to the line I look down and realize I’m wearing skinny jeans and stilettos. And that’s when it hits me! I... me… this girl, is about to play professional basketball with NBA Superstars… and I don’t know any of the plays!
Then I woke up and I knew exactly what it meant… I’m can’t get married today. Will you help me find my keys?
Title: Confrontation
Writer: Lindsey Lewis
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Genre: Drama
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Character Type/Age Range: Female
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Monologue:
Jenna: Why are you so smug?
Are you still sad that I left you?
You should be.
I probably don’t even need to say that because I know that you are, Devin.
You knew what you had.
And your stupid ideas ruined everything.
You ruined us.
We had an empire to run.
Now that empire is mine and not one ounce of it belongs to you because you were too weak to build it.
You want to know why you’re weak? Because you’re soft. You think I built this winery by being tender and delusional like you?
You should thank me for divorcing you.
Devin: You still love me
Jenna: What?
Devin: You still love me
Jenna: The hell I do. Now get out of here.
Title: Found God, Huh?
Writer: Mick Primmer
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Genre: Drama
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Character Type/Age Range: Male
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Monologue:
This is some place you got here... must be hard to find a lady who can take a punch nowadays. He sees a cross nailed to the hallway. So, you found god huh? That's awesome. See, mom kept calling out
for him but he wasn't around. Coughing up blood in a shit box with no heat, having me rub her down with holy water because she didn't have no insurance. All the while I guess Jesus was down at the mill forgiving all the drunks, who knew? Is this one of the 12 steps or does a guy like you get 24? I think I liked you better when you were a drunk. Let me ask you something, where was this guy when I was a kid? I needed him then, I don't need you now and I never will again, you understand? The only thing I have in common with my brother is that we have absolutely no use for you. It's good to know you're sorry, Pop. Goes a long way.
Title: O. M. G. !
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Writer: Richard Kovacs
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Genre: Comedy
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Character Type/Age Range: Male
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Monologue:
Oh yeah, I've met him. (beat) Quite something. I mean he's larger than life, as you can imagine. And he was just the perfect host. He made you feel totally at home and like you can't do wrong. You mattered. When he was talking to you it was like you were the only person in the world. Overwhelming. Surreal. But so real. His son was a bit, well, quiet you know. I think he had a few persecution issues going on with his Dad – you know the story... But very kind and generous with the food. I don't know how he did it! I didn't like the fish too much and it just kept coming and coming but what he did with the bread and wine was divine. A miracle worker. Yeah. I don't want to.. big it up but I really think he liked me. He gave me a cheery “See you” as I left and something about “wouldn't want a beer”? – I mean I would have offered him a beer but I assumed he didn't drink. Yeah, I've met him. Oh and it's true by the way, he speaks with an English accent.
Title: The God Of Knitting
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Writer: Ross Forte
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Genre: Comedy
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Character Type/Age Range: Male
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Monologue:
Hello Father. I have made a decision. It is time that I, Ares, Greek God of War, retire my sword and shield.
NO! I have thought long and hard about this. And I’ve realized that I am more than just killing and chaos.
Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to be the son of ZEUS!? The second I got out of the womb you put a sword in my hand. I never had a choice. And most kids, got spanked by their parents. YOU THREW FRICKEN LIGHTNING BOLTS AT ME. THAT’ IS NOT OKAY.
I just want to find out who “I” am, underneath all this leather. I love writing poetry, rescuing baby sea turtles, and I have a dream of one day learning how to knit so I can make cozy little booties for all of our warriors. Sandals get cold in the winter time! But you wouldn’t know-you don’t care!
Oh dah dah dah dah dah I’m Zeus God of Thunder so mad! Grrrrr! Well it’s 2020 and I’m still wearing a skirt. It’s time for a change…
Title: The Boogeyman
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Writer: Staci Kennedy
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Genre: Drama
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Character Type/Age Range: Female
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Monologue:
Celeste:
Hi, I'm Celeste and I’m an addict. Today I’m celebrating 6 months clean and sober, which is both exciting and terrifying. Everyone always asks about rock bottom. For me it was the moment I realized- I’m the boogeyman. When you’re afraid of something- you can run or hide or fight. But when what you're afraid of is inside of you- there’s nothing you can do. I looked in the mirror and saw my greatest fears, staring back at me- wearing my face. So that’s why I’m here. One day at a time right? Thanks for letting me share.