All monologues submitted will be asked to fill out a from requesting the following information for each monologue submitted. 

 

 

Title: I’M A VAMPIRE 

 

Writer: Chris Taylor

 

Genre: Comedy

 

Type: Guy or Gal

 

Target Age Range: 20-40

 

Monologue:

 

Hi. I’m Chris, and I am a Vampire. (Beat, looking around the room) Yeah, I wasn’t quite expecting you all to say “Hi Chris” or anything… and I know what you’re thinking. What’s he/she doing here in an AA meeting? Right? (To self) What am I doing here? Well, you see, I really am a Vampire… and it’s certainly not all that it’s been cracked up to be. Ya, see, there aren’t many places for an unhappy Vampire to go for support. Yeah, I tried Codependents Anonymous… that was a train wreck. They kept trying to convince me that I needed more “self-esteem”. More self-esteem? I have plenty of self-esteem. I’m going to live forever for crying out loud. No! I have a drinking problem! Just like all of you… I drink too much. But that’s only because I have to. No, really! I have to. If I don’t… (long pause), I actually don’t know what happens…. Anyway, I’ve got to get a handle on all of this drinking. It’s becoming a real mess out there.